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August 28, 2007

Tuesday

That's what she said!

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Jim: Rumors

In Pallas’ outermost shell, barely shielded from cosmic radiation, lived the bulk of the Belt’s mutant class. There, in a café that was really more of a cave, Bradley told his fellow ‘freaks’ about his adventure down below.

“…She said that there’s an asteroid bar,” Bradley continued. “Called the Walking Mathilda or something, that welcomes anybody. Even people like us!”

“Who’s ‘She’?” asked Gilliam from inside his carapace.

“Some sapiens named Sara. She claimed she lives there. And they even serve real booze!”

“She lives in a bar?” Patrick scoffed, clicking his beak.

Bradley pouted. “Well, that’s what she said.”

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Jeff R.: I Get Another Piece of the Puzzle

When I reached the state pen it looked someone fought a World War there and forgot to alert the media. Trucks were putting out fires after someone decided to take time off their sentences for bad behavior.

Luckily, me and the warden go way back, to when he still wore a size-XXL policeman's uniform. I asked about Sasha. He told me she took a shiv early in the riot and bled out in the room with the hostages. She told one something that included my name, and a few dead Secretaries of the Treasury later the warden passed it on.

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David: It's All In The Timing

“I’m thinking about diversifying my portfolio.”

“That’s what she said.”

“What? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It’s an innuendo.”

“Oh, really?

“Yeah, because of diversifying… and- and-“

“You have no idea what an innuendo is, do you?”

“Sure I do.”

“I’ll bet you heard someone say, ‘That’s what she said,’ once, and the person he was talking to laughed. You didn’t understand why, but you memorized the line anyway, in hopes that someday you’d find out how to use it.”

“Jesus, dude. It was just a dumb comment. Why are you riding my ass like this?”

“That’s what she said.”

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Michele: Between the Lines

Jim listened attentively and relayed the words to his wife.

"She's at Emmas."

"Emma's parents are home."

"They are making popcorn and watching an Air Bud marathon."

Jim hung up, content. His wife glared at him.

"What?"
"Give me the phone."
She dialed their daughter's cell and spoke to her rapidly, through clenched teeth, with a tone that meant business.

"She's at that whore Haley's house."

"They are drinking beer."

"And watching Slut Bus volumes 1-5."

Jim gasped. "What? How the hell did you do that? What happened to Emma? What...."

She dangled the car keys.

"I'll go get her."

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