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August 10, 2007

Friday

Failure.

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Dave: Win some, lose some

He couldn't wait to see her face.  In his pocket was the very nice letter from the CEO, congratulating him on his promotion to VP and on the tremendous job was doing in his ever-more-promising career.

Better yet, he'd just gotten an e-mail that morning from his agent.  The publisher had accepted the changes, and The Modern Monday Manager was due to be on the shelves in November, which Christmas sales (and royalty checks) to follow.

He couldn't wait to see her face. 

"Honey!  I'm home!"

"Did you pick up the milk on the way like you said you would?"

Crap.

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Jim: Olly Olly Oxen Free

Jack Carr stepped out from his tenement in Singapore’s lower levels and squinted upward, admiring the few tiny patches of ruddy blue sky peeking through the press of the Lion City’s towering buildings.

Then he saw the splash of new graffiti sprayed over the old on the building across the street. It said, in plain English, They know you’re around here somewhere!

“Bless you, Haunh Xia,” he muttered. They’d chased him from city to city. How did they keep finding him?

The asteroids were the only safe place left to hide. Without looking back, Jack strode briskly toward the spaceport.

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David: Not Everyone Gets To Be A Superhero

Ever since I was bitten by that radioactive wombat, I’d been looking for an opportunity to use my new wombat-powers to fight evil and protect the common citizens of the city.

This was my chance. Miscreants had set fire to the second floor of a tenement. Most of the residents had gotten out, but a little girl was hanging out a fourth floor window. She was starting to panic, and would lose her grip any second.

I positioned myself on a nearby building. If I timed it right, I could catch her safely in mid-air. She fell, and I leapt.

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Michele: How Mad Scientists Get That Way

After 17 years and 1,754 false cries of Eureka!, Bartleby had done it. He invented something that actually worked.

He yelled to his assistant. "George! Eureka! The InvisiSpray™ works!" He was almost in tears as he handed George the sprayer. "Try it!"

George sprayed his cigarette lighter, which turned instantly invisible.

Bartelby clapped his hands in excitement. "And the most practical use will be hiding these from my wife!!" He sprayed several credit cards, a checkbook and $4,125.00 in cash.

"Wow. What do you use to get it all back?"
"Back?" Bartleby looked toward his invisible wealth and sighed. "1,755."

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