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July 30, 2007

Monday

Today's random word is infomercial.

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Sealyon: But Wait - Don't Order Yet

As you can see, Tiffany, this is a quality item.

Oh, yes. You won’t find quality like this anywhere else!

And it’s made right here in the U-S-of-A. So not only are you getting top quality merchandise, but you’re helping Americans work.

That’s so important, Bob.

It really is, Tiffany. Now, I know our studio audience has been anxious to see this baby in action…

Sounds like they’re ready, Bob!

I think they are! Now, I want all of you to watch me closely… and… now!

Bob. They’re all dead. Again.

Shit. They were gonna fix that bug this time.

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David: Filmed Before A Live Studio Audience

“What the hell are you watching?”

“It’s this hilarious new sitcom I just found. See that guy in the ugly sweater? He has to make a gourmet dinner for his boss so he can ask for a raise, and he only has one working appliance to cook with. It’s a trip.”

“I… think that’s an infomercial.”

“You crazy, man. They’ve been running a marathon all night. Last episode, he spilled red wine all over his wife’s new white carpet and had to clean it before she came home. Before that, he almost got sucked into a wacky religious UFO cult.”

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