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May 1, 2007


It's May Day, so everybody hum a few bars of the Internationale and write about the Proletariat.

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David: The Great Unwashed

“Your Majesty! The people are revolting!”

The king sighed. “Gary, you make that joke every week.”

“No, seriously! They have risen up and seized the means of production.” The interior minister’s eyes bulged as if to pop out of his head and fly about the chamber.

“The what?” the king asked soothingly, in an attempt to calm Gary down.

“Um… they… took over the aglet factory.”

“The what?” the king repeated.

“It makes those plastic things that go on the ends of shoelaces.”

“I see. So… they’ll be preventing frays each according to his ability? Why is this a problem?”

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Ted: Nyekulturny

The Regina was loved by her proles. They came to her with certain skills or she helped them gain new ones. Her people were not divided by income: they all got equal shares. Individual accomplishment was rewarded with time off. An extremely well done job landed one of her proles on Jamaica for six months.

The Kraut and Old Zar ruled thier realms by fear, but defered to the Regina when Accounting Day came.

So I stood, in a room so unlike that one fifteen years ago, and asked her to break faith with her people.

"I need a name."

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Jeff R.: Something to Be

Ralph Cassio, elected delegate of the People's First Glorious Copper Smelting Syndicate, stepped into the chamber warily. The delegates from the Eternally Beneficient Coal Mining Collective were already in position, and far from trustworthy, and it appeared that they'd already started in on the teamsters. The Syndicate needed the new contracts if there was to be any hope of meeting the year's quotas.

Fortunately, Ralph knew something his counterparts didn't: that the Copper Syndicate had secretly secured the full support of the Ancient and Benevolent Union of Constables, Investigators, and Enforcers. The contracts would be signed, one way or another...

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Dave: In the Name of the People

"Ever notice?" Sam asked, "how it's never really about 'the people'?"

Tommy nodded. 

"I mean, on the one side, forces of Democracy, all about the voice of 'the people,' doing good for 'we, the people,' and all that."

Another nod.

"Up against 'em, forces of Communism, all about protecting 'the people' from exploitation, of power to 'the people.'"


"And all the others, all looking to help 'the people,' save 'the people' -- mostly from themselves, y'know?"


"But in the end, who always gets it in the neck?  'The people.'"  Sam spat out the butt.  "Anyway, thanks for the last ciggie."

"Least we could do."  Tommy turned to the others.  "Squad, ready!  Aim! ..."

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