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March 16, 2007

3.16.07

Your word of the day is calamity.

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So this is how it would end.

Years of mollusk research, millions of dollars, countless hours diving, and two marriages had finally led him to this discovery: not one, but two specimens of the legendary Titan Clam, each perched on an undersea outcropping. It was almost poetic that the seismic shift should occur as he was taking photos of them, causing the two to fall in his direction, pinning his leg between their mammoth shells. As the gauge on his air tank finally rested on the left, his oxygen-starved mind found only one word that could describe the situation: Clamity.

(OK, so they can't all be brilliant.)

Posted by: Mr. E. at March 16, 2007 9:27 AM · Permalink

Worse yet, Mr. E., is that something along these lines was my first story idea.

But you pulled off this really bad (and therefore funny) pun better than I would have.

Posted by: Jim Parkinson at March 16, 2007 6:12 PM · Permalink

"It's a Calamity, Jane!"

A long, hellish day at the office, under his pipsqueak boss, and now he had to “walk the dog,” rather than sitting back, relaxing.

Fine. He was a married man. He could take orders at home, too.

It was enjoyable at first. Then … the cat appeared.

The next thing he knew, the dog was dragging him along. He could barely keep on his feet – and then he realized, to his alarm, the dog and cat had stopped, and were watching with ill-concealed amusement as he stumbled, fell, rolled ...

“Jane!” he cried out in pain and frustration. “Stop this crazy thing!”

Posted by: *** Dave at March 16, 2007 7:48 PM · Permalink

10,000 Pennies

Cautiously he threw the car into gear making sure the jar of pennies did not spill.
Although they were just pennies he knew how highly esteemed they were by his son.
Lifting the jar, carefully, after pulling into the bank parking lot, he thought of the joy this would bring.
All the pennies totaled $100.
Money was made from odd jobs around the house and these would produce a crisp bill.
In receiving the $100 bill, the boy's eyes grew intensely wide.
The realization hit and the boy ran off in tears.
You would think the $100 bill was worthless.

Posted by: rintrah at March 16, 2007 9:32 PM · Permalink

Frogs of War

“No more calls, Mrs. Nilsson, or we will arrest YOU, next time!”
The cop stormed off, got into his car and drove away.
I waited five minutes and slowly turned up the volume. Soon, the winter’s night air was filled once more with the sounds of frogs. Frogs and dragonflies, with a lawn mower joining in the chorus. I snickered quietly as the sound of a lone, wailing siren grew louder.
“For the last time,” Tim said with exasperation, “We have no frogs!”
Office Baines kept his word and arrested Mrs. Nilsson. Merry Christmas, you Old hag!

Posted by: Jauhara al Kafirah at March 18, 2007 12:12 AM · Permalink