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February 20, 2007

2.20.07

You just picked up a hitchhiker...

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It’s my Southern gentleman’s instinct, really.

You see a hot chick standing on the side of the road with her thumb stuck out, and you pull over to pick her up, right?

It’s the courteous thing to do.

Courteous ain’t what the other drivers thought. Sponsors and Team Owners, too.

Biggest damn wreck in NASACR history, all because I’m thinking with my pecker.

That, and fucked up on painkillers and Jack Daniels.

Speaking of which, you think we’ll lose Jack Daniels as a sponsor?

Shit.

I guess I’ll just wash my percodans down with Jim Beam from here on out.

Posted by: Planet Z at February 20, 2007 10:48 AM · Permalink

“I’m on a mission from God” came the thundering voice's response.

Then silence.

“Hey buddy…? Mission from God…? Come on…..”

Trapped in darkness I battled at the walls of the soggy smelly cell until I collapsed with a splash, overcome with exhaustion.

The sound of water swirling by, and a steady rhythmic heartbeat were like a lullaby to my aching body. And I slept.

I awoke to sunshine and surf. Finally free, I waded ashore looking for some hint of my whereabouts.

It was Nineveh. I’d recognize those sinners anywhere. My name’s Jonah, and I’m on a mission from God.

Posted by: kasac at February 20, 2007 6:54 PM · Permalink