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February 21, 2007

2.21.07

You forgot something...

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Jim: These Modern Times

Silvia Brooks could do it all: devoted wife, vice-president at an insurance company, political activist, actress at the community theater, day trader, and a mommy to one-year-old Josh. And I make it look so easy, she often thought.

Then came that fateful day. It was just a quick trip to the grocery store and dry-cleaner. But in her hurry, she forgot Josh was sleeping in the back seat.

The coroner declared it a negligent death. Something in Silvia snapped.

In her new room at the hospital, Silvia Brooks can do it all: astronaut, film star, astral psychic, liberator of France…

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David: His Day Just Keeps Getting Better

The motorcycle cop pulled over the Mustang convertible for suspected drunk driving. He approached the driver’s side of the sportscar.

“Who are you supposed to be?”

“I’m the Pope,” replied the Pope. “Can we hurry this up? I have to be somewhere.”

The little man with the combover and Charlie Chaplin moustache sitting in the passenger seat said, “Oh, is this you handling it? Good job.”

“Gentlemen,” said the officer, “I’m going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle and open the trunk.”

“Fine,” said the Pope, yanking the release lever.

“What? No!” Hitler belatedly exclaimed.

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Jeff R.:There Was a Girl...

She was young, attractive enough, and still breathing. All plusses. On the minus side, his arm was pinned underneath her and he couldn't remember her name.

She looked familiar; not a complete stranger. Someone from work? No, she didn't have the soul-deadness that that place brings on. Someone else that he sees frequently. Not coffee-shop girl; she's a redhead. Too short to be the downstairs neighbor. Yes! That's it: the record shop brunette. He imagined her uniform, with nametag: Crystal. He breathed a sign of relief.

It was only then that he realized that he'd also forgotten his own name.

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Ted: Penny for Your Thoughts

So there I was, a living skeletal monster offering me a wish. I knew how this wish game worked: you give an order or say the word ‘wish’ and the thing does it, but there is usually a price when it is done. Or had I paid the price already with the sex?

Never mess with magic if you don't know the rules.

So I had to come up with a wish that would take care of Penny, put the bones back to sleep, and, if possible, get her Dad back.

“Send me back three days.”

Penny stayed behind.

Shit.

Read more from Ted's .

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From The Comments: Mr. E.

It took a minute for the room to come into focus. Not that it mattered. There was nothing familiar in his surroundings, including the foul taste in his mouth.

Water. Man, was he thirsty!

The wrapped plastic cup indicated that he was in the My-T-Fyne Inn of Springfield, which neither rang any bells nor narrowed down his location much.

It was at the sink he found the note.

Bob:

You remembered the same pickup line you used on me back in ’86, even if you forgot me.

I left your wedding ring, pants, and shoes at the front desk.

Marie

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