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January 15, 2007

Jim: I Should Have Been A Shriner

“Can I have a light?” I asked the bartender.

“The ceiling’s full of them,” he replied sarcastically.

“I noticed. Still, can I have a light?”

“We only serve real beer, Pal. Lagers and ales. Which do you want?”

“I’m drinking Scotch. So…can I have a light?”

“Where’s your smoke?” he asked, reaching for some matches.

I leaned close. “Listen carefully,” I whispered urgently. “Can. I. Have. A. Light?”

“Oh," he loudly declared. "You must be looking for the secret Illuminati meeting. It’s the door in the back.”

Walking away, I mumbled, “I bet the Tri-Lateral Commission can afford real security."

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