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January 12, 2007


The word of the day is green

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Jim: In The Army Now

The corporal looked over the platoon in their fresh, olive uniforms. “HQ said these soldiers are all they had.”

The sergeant shook his head. “More kids,” he spat.

“We need the reinforcements, though,” the corporal stated.

“We don’t need green recruits. We need trained fighters. Okay, let’s get this over with,” the sergeant grumbled. He walked up to the drill line and addressed the first recruit. “What’s your name?”

“Ty, Sergeant,” the soldier replied.

“What the hell kind of a name is Ty?”

“It’s short for Tyxillipidikia, Sergeant” the Martian private answered, emerald sweat beading on his jade complexioned face.

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David: Environmentally Friendly

I knew she was a hippie when I met her: vegan, environmental crusader, and so on. If you live in San Francisco, you have to accept that’s the kind of woman you’re going to meet most. Besides, the sex was amazing, even if she wouldn’t eat meat.

We broke up after we went camping in the Redwood National Forest. I woke up in the middle of the night, alone. I went looking for her, and eventually found her, naked, arms around a tree, straddling a branch, passionately rubbing herself against it.

It’s okay to love nature. Just don’t love nature.

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Jeff R.:It's Not Easy

She wore two emerald earrings that matched her eyes, which flashed like traffic lights on 'go' while her bright red lips said stop, stop, stop: an accident waiting to happen.

"Do you have it?" she asked, leaning forward far enough that only the direct intervention of whatever patron saint covered this kind of thing stopped her breasts from falling out of her dress.

I did. Pictures of her husband playing hide the Salimi with the nanny. Well, more like 'hide the Vienna sausage', really.

She paid her bill. Her money wasn't as green as her eyes, but it spent better.

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Ted: Professional Ethics

Money, of course. Prime motivation.

Mr. Greene contacted my agent, my agent gave me the file. Seems Mr. Greene needed a problem solved and was far too above us little people to get his hands dirty.

It was a simple job: no security to speak of and the mark was oblivious.

But I'm not some green kid who gets off wearing woodland cammo and pretending; I've done this kinda thing before. It was just too pat.

So after the mark was taken care of, I did a little private search of my own.

Mr. Greene, you just made the list.

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Michele: Ode to a Pig

He woke, as always, stung by the familiar longing for the girl that would never be his.

He stared at the bottle of pills, wondering again if everlasting sleep would be better than an existence without the only one he ever loved.

His spirit was as broken as his heart. His life was nothing but tears-stained page of poetry filled with the agony of missing her.

He stared at her photo. It could never have worked. They were from different worlds. He wasn’t good enough for her....he...

Inspired, Kermit grabbed a pen and composed.

“It’s not easy being green....”

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