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December 14, 2006

12.14.06

There's a fat man in your bathtub.

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Would You Like A Warranty With That?

“Wait…repeat that,” demanded Victoria.

“I came with the tub.” The fat man stated again, taking a loofa to his side.

“I thought you were one of the delivery guys.” Victoria shielded her eyes when some of the bubbles shifted to reveal skin.

“Well, I helped them bring it in, but I stay. It’s a bonus.”

“And you’re wearing my shower cap.”

“I forgot mine, but I did bring my own towel.”

Another well rounded man walked into the room, pushing Victoria out of the way with his belly.

“Who’s that?” asked the tub man.

“Sammy. He came with the fridge.”

Posted by: Laieanna at December 14, 2006 9:40 AM · Permalink

"He was found floating down the Thames sir." answered the WPC.

"How did the bathtube float?" Queried the Detetive Chief Inspector.

"Well someone plugged the whole rather well and it seemed to have remained water tight."

"But how did he get in the Thamas?"

"He claims to have been pushed down an embankment by a group of his mates. Then got stuck in the bathtup and just floated downstream."

"A prank or a stag night?"

"Prank we think...he almost ended up at the Thames barrier. We got him out with WD-40 sir."

"WPC no need for details." Begged the DCI.

Posted by: Andrew Ian Dodge at December 14, 2006 10:12 AM · Permalink

The great bald Head peeked out over the bubbles. Two matching pink orbs, the knees, the reconnaissance soldiers, advanced through the bubbly jungle, clearing the path for General Head, bobbing up and down. The opposing toe-army, outnumbering them five-to-one, stood guard at the edge of the jungle, protecting the life-giving water. The recon soldiers could get no closer.

The air was moist, thick. The humidity was nearly unbearable, but these men of valor would not buckle. Somehow, they must find a shortcut, a way through this dense, fragrant foliage…

Then suddenly, through the door, “Pops! You almost done in there?”

Posted by: Mr. Parx at December 14, 2006 10:59 AM · Permalink

Mr. Parx - fantastic!

Posted by: Stacy at December 14, 2006 12:18 PM · Permalink

Ditto! I laughed my arse off.

Posted by: JIm Parkinson at December 14, 2006 12:29 PM · Permalink

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's nice to be back. Hopefully I can get into a routine and submit regularly again. Maybe I'll start blogging again, too.

Best,
Mr. P.

Posted by: Mr. Parx at December 14, 2006 12:59 PM · Permalink

Mr. Parx,

I wanted you to know that we all consider the stories posted on this site to be complete fiction. And, that we do not feel as though we perhaps know a little bit more about you personally, having read your story.

Posted by: kasac at December 14, 2006 3:03 PM · Permalink

Good to know. I'm all about the mystery.

Posted by: Mr. Parx at December 14, 2006 4:41 PM · Permalink