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December 7, 2006

12.07.06

I saw this headline: Flatulence, not turbulence, forces plane to land

Today's theme is to write about how a person's bodily functions can affect others.

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"Oh man what hell is that smell?" Gerald asked.

"Oh that is the effluent that is flowing down the middle of the road over near Threshers."

"What...how the hell?"

"Oh don't you know there is a sewer break and its all flooding down the road...why?"

"Well I was thinking of buying a flat near there..."

"Not a basemant flat I hope?"

"Why...oh no..."

"Yeah 40 of them were flooded with effluent so far. Good lesson on why not to buy a basement flat."

" I was about to bid on a really nice one right off that road..."

"Quite."

"Shit happens..."

Posted by: Andrew Ian Dodge at December 7, 2006 9:08 AM · Permalink

A Jesus Story for Laurence:

The intensity of the camera flashes was picking up steam. We were almost to the part where the pretty girls bring out all the millions, and put them on the table.

The way I figured it, I had low pair.

Phil, what a chump, had tossed cards right away. And I had him figured for a pair of ladies.

Ferguson was moving slowly, carefully. He’s got something – or, is he bluffing hard?

He goes all-in.

Time for me to think. God I wish I could smoke in here.

Ferguson had played close all day.

Then I saw him, sweat.

CALL.

Posted by: kasac at December 7, 2006 12:08 PM · Permalink

Paybacks Are Hell:

“The final breath.”

“No, one more.”

“No, wait, one last… wait. Wait. There it is the final…”

“Well for pete’s sake. Is he gonna die or not?”

Father Murray took her arm, “Mildred, all God’s children find there way, in God’s good timing.”

“Well, I’m not sure how good His timing is. This room is costing an arm and leg a day. If Louis don’t give it up soon… Ah hell!” Mildred slumped into a chair as the heart monitor began to beep again.

Louis hung on for six long weeks. He enjoyed Mildred’s misery so much, heaven could wait.

Posted by: kasac at December 7, 2006 2:26 PM · Permalink