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December 11, 2006

12.11.06

Today's word is ice.

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Jeff R.:Perils of Hindsight, v. 237

In retrospect, the Solar Shades might have been a mistake.

Launched into orbit in 2019 after Beta finished off on New Orleans and Cuba was half-submerged, they reflected sunlight into space, arresting global warming. They helped, but not enough, so automated lunar factories were built to make more.

In early 2032 they reached a tipping point. By that year's end there were glaciers in London and Chicago. People got nervous, started blowing them up. Another mistake; now there's enough orbital debris that it takes a miracle to get out of the stratosphere, so we're stuck with them for a while.

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David: Eski-Mafia

“We got a problem, Don Muklukbuknuk,” said the henchman.

“What is it, Chukbuknukluk?”

“It’s dat diamond merchant, Bukmukshukpuk. He missed his payment again. Dat makes three.”

Don Muklukbuknuk sighed regretfully. “Take Schmukbukrukluk and go put him on ice.”

“On ice, boss?”

“Yeah, you got a problem wit’ dat?”

“No, boss. But, we live above the Arctic Circle. Pretty much everyone’s on ice already.”

Don Muklukbuknuk shook his head. “I’m workin’ wit’ morons. Whaddaya think I mean when I say, ‘Put him on ice’? Put da bum on an ice floe and push ‘im out ta sea.”

“You got it, boss.”

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Jim: The Designated Duck

“Have you ever noticed,” I slurred to the green-headed duck sitting on the stool beside me, “that everybody shakes the ice cubes in their glass once the drink is gone?”

He rolled his eyes and replied, “The writer Mary Pettibone Poole once said that alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains.”

“Do you think it’s because the tinkling ice sounds so lonely?”

He started to answer but I was already onto my next thought. “If the formula for water is H2O, then is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?”

“I’ll call you a cab,” he sighed.

Read more from Jim's .

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Ted: Out of the Cave

He screamed. Again. Then, again.

He didn't notice the irony inherent in his scream... by all rights he should be dead. But the nannys had been working on him for a very long time.

Dawn broke over his mind as he finally realized where he was.

He lifted the checklist they promised him to his face. That motion turned on the lights and he was finally able to see --- for the first time in his life.

His newly re-shaped heart worked at 110% norm, his eyes and ears and lungs rated even higher.

He exited the ice cave, reborn perfect.

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From The Comments: turtle

These lights are just too much for me. A few more steps to go. Screaming and cheering.

How had life my life turned into this? Six nights a week? You know, this used to be fun.

I mean, don't get me wrong. Vegas is a great place to fade into the sunset. I guess I missed out when someone said it was better to burn fast then fade away.

I can make enough for a drink.

Ill keep doing this.

Someone had too.

As the curtains opened, my daily nightmare started again.

"Ice Ice Baby."

I need to stop stripping.

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