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December 4, 2006

12.04.06

Today's story should have something to do with electrocution.

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Tanya: Untitled

There were seats for the victim’s parents and brother, a seat for his wife. She didn’t bring their kids to watch. There were even seats for the murderer’s family.

Unsurprisingly, there was no seat for the victim’s eighth grade girlfriend.

The prison was only two miles up the road, but I couldn’t go there, and sit with the hippie morons that wanted to spare his miserable life. So I sat in my living room and waited for the telltale flicker of all the lights in the house. And then I drank a toast, when I knew they’d fried the bastard.

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Jeff R: Critical Distinction

Mark Twain once said that, in writing, the difference between almost the right word and the right word was the difference between a lightning bug and lightning.

Vice Principal Saunders thought about that as he prepared to address the gathered crowd, ready to begin their four-year sojurn through the world of high school. He cleared his throat. Feedback wailed, and then a spark from the amps jumped to the metal bleachers, and a horrific smell filled the auditorium.

See, in electrical engineering, the difference between the right wire and almost the right wire is the difference between elocution and electrocution.

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David: Truly, He Was An Inspiration To Us All

“You’re mad, Doctor Frankenstein!”

Struggling against his bonds, Frankenstein ranted, “Mad?! You dare call me mad? I, the greatest genius in the history of modern medicine? I, who stitched together human flesh exhumed from graves? I, who inserted into the skull of my creation the brain of one of the greatest geniuses in the history of something other than modern medicine? I, who, with a bolt wrestled from the heart of the storm, succeeded in bringing this patchwork of tissues back from death itself? For this miracle of science you call me mad?”

Frankenstein shrugged. “You may have a point.”

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