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November 6, 2006

David: Clarity

The lawman tracked the killer from Tombstone toward Yuma. Following the trail of corpses was easy; finding his own name carved into each was hard. The lawman promised himself that when it was over, he’d crawl into a bottle to stay.

It ended tonight. He’d spied the killer’s campfire. He crept through the dark, among the rocks and cacti, intent on the figure on the bedroll. He drew his pistol. No trial for this one. He reached out to shake the killer’s shoulder. He wanted him to die awake.

He felt the barrel press against the back of his head.

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Comments

Good writing!

Posted by: Jim Parkinson at November 6, 2006 1:30 PM · Permalink

cactussuz

Posted by: kasac at November 6, 2006 2:38 PM · Permalink

I like this one, but am not sure if the lawman and the bad guy are the same person or if the badguy just got the drop on him with a dummy at the campfire. Or, is the badguy some kind of doppelganger..or did dingos just steal my baby? Really like the atmosphere in this one.

Posted by: Ted Bronson at November 6, 2006 5:07 PM · Permalink

The bad guy knew the lawman was out there, and set up a trap. The next thing the lawman hears is the last thing he hears: the click of a falling hammer.

See how I used both "gone astray" and "failure to overcome" aspects of the theme?

Cactease?

Posted by: David at November 6, 2006 5:23 PM · Permalink

Just be careful you don't pricktease yourself on the cactease.

Posted by: Stacy at November 6, 2006 6:03 PM · Permalink