« Stacy: Don't Drink the Water | Main | Jim: Fish Tale »

October 17, 2006

10.17.06

There once was man from Nantucket...

The was a young lady from Kent...

Today, let us write of people with amazing but unusual talents..kind of like Stupid Human Tricks.

(limericks only if original, but be sure to pad enough for the word count)

Bookmark: del.icio.us • Digg • reddit

Comments

You’ll read my last poem…, right?

Nellie’s family abandoned her at a very young age. She was found alone in the family home, sitting amidst the fine furnishings and statuary.

The State home, understaffed and under-funded, struggled to care for the children. But, being state run its fallacies were neatly covered. The director turned to selling some of the art from the once fine home to raise money, all of the little sculptures scattered about brought in quite a boon.

When the foster family joyfully arrived to take Nellie home, they found her sitting all alone, next to a statue of the director holding a gun.

Posted by: Kasac at October 17, 2006 11:15 AM · Permalink

The day after the shipwreck was the worst. Rations are hard to keep fresh when you're floating atop them - Arthur's food was gone in a week, and his strength flagged. Only a fierce determination to survive held him to the wreckage, a silent cry for help forever on his lips.

The dolphins were the first to respond, bringing him perch each morning. Soon schools of fish were gently pushing him coastward. A week later, Arthur spotted a Coast Guard cutter, and begged a passing humpback to get their attention.

He told them his story. They laughed and threw him back.

Posted by: Keiran Halcyon at October 17, 2006 11:33 AM · Permalink

The Joke: A Variation

A family of lepers and their blind sheep dog walk into a talent agent’s office. The agent immediately says, “I don’t rep to family acts, sorry.”
The father is deaf, however, and squats, taking a shit on the floor. The wife joins him. They’re shitting away, flesh falling off into the feces, and then their retarded baby starts to roll around in the maggoty glop. Afterwords, the couple tougue bathe the baby clean while the dog tosses their salads.

“Hey,” exclaims the agent. “Aren’t you the notorious Aristocrats?”

“No, sorry,” says the wife. “We were told this was the restroom?”

Posted by: Ben Martini at October 17, 2006 3:54 PM · Permalink

MY FIRST TRY

Martin sat up in bed, smiling. With dramatic flourish he threw back the blanket and began to gently float toward the ceiling. He snapped his fingers and the house opened like an eye, releasing him to the night sky.

Silhouetted against the dimpled moon, he struck a pose (as if he were a comic book hero) and decided to explore the skies of Madrid this time.

There was a slight breeze, and for a moment he shivered, but with a simple thought the night air warmed and he was on his way.

Down below, his body lay curled and sleeping.

Posted by: PB McCoy at October 17, 2006 9:08 PM · Permalink