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September 29, 2006

9.29.06

What do the instructions say?

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I like this topic.

Posted by: Laurence Simon at September 29, 2006 11:25 AM · Permalink

Suffrage:

The groundskeeper jerked, startled, when she approached. “Three rows back, fourth from the end” he croaked, after fumbling with an old map.

The stranger never turned her cloudy grey eyes away, as they filled with milky tears. The groundskeeper dropping his rake turned the woman and seeing her pain led her, sobbing, to her destination.

Nearly blind, her middle-aged body ravaged and ailing from destitution and despair, she fell to her knees. Finally back at her husband’s side, and following Muslim law, beseeching his final instruction. Her hand shaking, she traced the letters, “Rest In Peace”. She wept and died.

Posted by: Kasac at September 29, 2006 11:40 AM · Permalink

My second title choice was

Shit...., where's my shovel?:

Posted by: Kasac at September 29, 2006 11:41 AM · Permalink

Sweat ran down Thom's face as he worked on his Daughters swingset.

"why wont the two sides connect" he muttered.

He then whent about drilling holes and hammering away at bolts that didn't seem to fit.

"Damn it, why do they make these things so hard?"

Frustrated Thom took a break and starred at the swingset while sipping on a diet soda.

"let me try this might work"

twenty minutes later Thom again stands back.

"what am I missing?"

Just as he picks up a saw his wife walks out to the back yard.

"what do the instructions say?"

"Instructions?"

Posted by: Kirbside at September 29, 2006 12:01 PM · Permalink

"Who needs bloody instructions?" Asked the rough man in the long white robe and the small hat on his head.
"Well the Iman said we were supposed to follow this list.."replied the smaller sheepish man.
"I will put my faith in Allah and go with my training." He paused; "shut up or I will strap this to you!'
The two men struggled with backpack getting it into place inside.
"But Mohammed I think it is the yellow..."
"Shut up I was trained by the mujahadeen!"
Just then their small part of Southall was filled with the sound of an explosion.

Posted by: Andrew Ian Dodge at September 29, 2006 12:45 PM · Permalink

IKEA Villanelle:

I'm not some klutz, you know.
I'll assemble this bed
Where'd those instructions go?

The right side's hanging low.
I'll try this slot instead.
Where'd those instructions go?

Aha! It fits, like so!
But won't that hit your head?
I'm not some klutz, you know.

Run to the Home Depot,
And get some Bondo, red.
Where'd those instructions go?

Don't stare. This ain't a show.
I'll pound on you instead.
I'm not some klutz, you know.

The frame bends like a bow.
I'll build it like I said.
I'm not some klutz, you know.
Where'd those instructions go?

Posted by: Jeff R. at September 29, 2006 12:52 PM · Permalink

(And this time I am using the title in the word count. Poetic license, dammit.)

Posted by: Jeff R. at September 29, 2006 12:53 PM · Permalink

holy cow...extra points for the obscure rhyme scheme and antiquated form

Posted by: ted at September 29, 2006 2:15 PM · Permalink

Blow up?

This should be simple. All I have to do is cut the wires in the correct order and the girl and I won’t die.

Led by a crude diagram I found. Wadded up and hidden in his trash can in that ratthole he calls an apartment. It’s covered in coffee grounds and something that looked like banana. It’s was almost legible after I wiped it off.

I have to breathe, there’s plenty of time. And with any luck, I’ll live to tell the tale and get the girl. Breathe.

Guess this is a bad time to tell her I’m colorblind.

Posted by: thefinn at September 29, 2006 10:43 PM · Permalink

The two friends grinned at each other as they watched the girls dance in front of the fire.

"Things sure got more interesting around here when that grouchy old man took off!", said Jakob.

"Sure did!", exclaimed Isaac as he took a gulp of wine. "Beats walking all over the desert".

Suddenly the sky was split by lightning and the music drowned out by thunder. The two friends made their way to the edge of the crowd. They saw that the old man had come back, and was holding a couple of stones.

"Oh shit, he looks pissed", groaned Jakob.

Posted by: gahrie at September 30, 2006 6:32 AM · Permalink