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January 17, 2006

January 17, 2006

Your surprise birthday party turns out to be VERY surprising.

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D: Saboteur

I have spent all week making the pipe bombs, the fuses are cut to lengths that will give me twenty second delays and I’ve secured a pass to the laboratory with surprising ease. Dr Wilkinson positively encouraged me to work late tonight.

Plan is simple; get in, free the animals, trash the research stations, set the bombs and escape. I’ll leave the passcard with Michael’s fingerprints on it in the scanner and that’ll be that.

I'll teach these sanctimonious cosmetic testers that Mother Nature isn't to be messed with. It’s very dark in here… hey, what was that noise?


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Jim: And I'll Cry If I Want to

“Are you okay, Abe?” his mother asked, standing beside his bed.

Abe rubbed his eyes. “M-m-mom?” he stammered.

“Quit fooling around,” she commanded with mock sternness. “You’re going to be late for your own birthday party!”

Abe leapt to his feet and raced into the living room. “Surprise!” yelled his friends. They had all come, even Margie. Lovely, wonderful Margie.

Abe remembered a lifetime of joyous winters and spectacular summers with Margie.

And then Margie died. Abe had been eighty then.

Margie smiled sweetly. “Happy Birthday, Abe.”

“Happy Birthday, Abe,” whispered the nurse, pulling the bed sheet over his face.

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Ted: Party Favors

We had kidded for years that for my fourtieth birthday, all wanted was an orgy.

My birthday started out with Jane waking me up by deep throating me. Not a bad start.

Since it was Saturday, I was looking forward to a day of making love to my wife.

By noon, I was starving. Jane finally crawled off me and I cooked breakfast.

We fucked like rabbits all afternoon.

At seven, she told me "happy birthday", and mumbled to "wash up, guests are arriving soon."

By eight, the house was full of naked, fucking couples that I fell asleep watching.

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