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November 6, 2005

Volume 8, Issue 6

The topic for today is corn.

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As usual, the officer’s mess was dark at this hour. One single hanging light cast a yellow glow on the only occupied table, where the Kernel was eating his customary late night Cob salad.

This was the time the enemy assassin chose to make his move. The hours of rowing across the river and crawling through fields were finally paying off.

Moving like silk through the shadows, earily noiseless, he stalked his prey.

For no apparent reason, the Kernel stopped eating and hustled out of the tent.

The assassin stood alone in the dark. All he could say was “Shucks!”

Posted by: Jim Parkinson at November 6, 2005 11:40 AM · Permalink

I can honestly state that this post was the corniest thing I have ever written.

Posted by: Jim Parkinson at November 6, 2005 11:41 AM · Permalink

It wasn't but a few sunrises that passed before Johnny Pilgrim made his move to steal some of that marvelous food the Mashatucket Pequots had given him - they called it Maize or corn.
Unfortunately, Johnny was unaware that it was a early brand of uncooked Jiffy Pop that they had stored and when then caught him in the uncooked Jiffy Pop bin, they forced him under threat of torture to eat a bushel of it. The real horror came as they tied him very close to the fire...

Posted by: DL at November 6, 2005 4:11 PM · Permalink

"....C'mon, talk to me."
"..."
"There's no one el--"
"You're a vegetable. Vegetables don't talk."
"And yet, Einstien, here we are." She sounded petulant. I had to admit it had been a low blow.
"..."
"..."
"...C'mon. Taste me. You know you want to." she purred.
I ran my toungue feverishly over salt-cracked lips. "No. I've had enough. I don't want to anymore".
"Taste me, suck on my juicy niblets--"
"Another word about your niblets, I swear to Christ, the seagulls can have you right now."
"..."
"..."
"...You could always scrape some mussels from the side of the raft and use me for chowder."

Posted by: Buck at November 6, 2005 8:36 PM · Permalink