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November 15, 2005

Volume 8, Issue 15

In honor of the current state of this site, today's theme is MASS CONFUSION.

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D: Stalemate

Charles Babbage stood up from the table without shaking his opponent's hand. The dumbfounded crowd of onlookers watched as he laid his king on its side and conceded against the automated Turk when it had appeared that he was winning.

"A word if you please Johann" he said as he moved to the private anteroom.

"Do you think me a fool Sir? I am a learned man, and I know when I am playing against a human opponent. I am not impressed by your parlor trick cabinet, as these ignoramuses are. Someday I shall show you a true thinking machine…"

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The Eschatologist: How To Panic In 3 Seconds Flat

Fred Miller had been awake all week, strung out on hyper-caffeinated Bawls and NoDoz. Today was his final doctoral dissertation defense. He knew that he should have slept before going in front of the committee, but he couldn't help himself. A final few hours to review his notes and presentation couldn't hurt.

He walked confidently, though bleary-eyed, into the room, where the dour defense committee was arranged in a semi-circle around his chair. He placed the first poster board up on the easel. "On The Weight Interaction of Various Jovian Satellites".

"Pardon me, Mr. Miller. Should that not read 'mass'?"

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