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October 7, 2005

Volume 7, Issue 7

Mohammed El-Baradei and the IAEA have won the 2005 Nobel Peace Prize.

The word for today is peace.

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Comments

"I can assure you our historically aggressive neighbors to the east intend no harm to the world. Their dictator assures us they've not been stockpiling weaponry under the guise of industrial manufacturing nor have they been conscripting an army as the war mongers would have us believe. No, we'll have peace. Rumors of troops massing on their outer borders is unfounded. Besides, let's say they expand their backyard a little by force. We wouldn't want to anger them. That's really none of our business anyway. Lets all be friends. No, I think we can trust the promises of Herr Hitler."

Posted by: Eric at October 7, 2005 5:31 AM · Permalink

Mr. Johnson!, Mr. Johnson, please help me. I'm having trouble with this article. Of course my boy, what seems to be the difficulty? Well, we nuked China, killed 58,000,000, set fire to the Brazilian rain forests and killed 25,000,000 aboriginies, and taught dolphins to carry mines. I don't understand how this secures the peace in the world. Winston, Winston, I can see you need a few more sessions with the rats. Right this way my boy.

Posted by: MIKE at October 7, 2005 10:15 AM · Permalink

"Freedom? We'll never have freedom, or peace, as long as the neo-conservative fascist bastards and the oligarchy are in control!"

"Who is that, Jim?" Davy asked, eying the speaker and the increasingly angry mob that surrounded him.

Bowie glanced at the young man addressing the crowd. "Aw, that's just that scruffy long haired feller that come in last night," he said, spitting a stream of tobacco juice.

"You reckon Santa Ana sent him here to demoralize the troops?" Crockett asked. "Should we tell Colonel Houston?"

Jim Bowie smiled and drew his knife. "Naw, I'll take care of it," he replied.

Posted by: hnumpah at October 7, 2005 12:43 PM · Permalink

We discovered the vast Whushin civilization dwelling in Jupiter’s deadly ammonia and methane atmosphere. Enormous floating octopi with dozens of delicate, translucent tentacles, we quickly learned that their helium-filled ‘heads’ also held tremendous intellects.

The Whushin gave us a lot over the succeeding years: FTL drives and communications, sophisticated medicines, intricate culture, indescribable art… Mankind prospered thanks to their knowledge and gifts.

In retrospect, it made perfectly good sense to believe that an advanced society of beings would instinctively seek peace and partnership with other intelligent beings.

At least, that’s what those foolish gasbags thought before we eradicated them entirely.

Posted by: Jim Parkinson at October 7, 2005 3:07 PM · Permalink

First string is kinda quiet today, eh?

Posted by: Eric at October 7, 2005 6:50 PM · Permalink