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October 30, 2005

Volume 7, Issue 30

You forgot to set your clock back one hour last night before going to bed, therefore you missed something very important today. What was it?

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I slapped the alarm off, stretched, then rolled out of bed for my morning whizz. Halfway through, the realization struck me - I hadn't reset my clocks the night before! Panicked, I shook off the last few drops, flushed, and hurried back to the bedroom to get dressed, expecting Jerry to show up any moment for our fishing trip. Then it dawned on me, by forgetting to set my clocks back, I was actually up an hour early. I had time to spare! I crawled back under the covers and slipped my arm around Linda, cupping her breast. "Wakey wakey, sleepyhead ..."

Posted by: hnumpah at October 30, 2005 10:07 AM · Permalink

He forgot to consider the time change when he set coordinates and time on the time machine. It might not seem so bad to arrive an hour early for something, but in this case it proved fatal, and catastrophic. Irwin planned to send himself back to the bridge of the Voyager of the Seas, the largest cruise ship afloat, and warn them of the impending collision that would sink them, with massive casualties, if they did not take evasive action. Instead, he materialized over open ocean, and drowned. An hour later, the ship sailed by, and shortly after that, sank.

Posted by: hnumpah at October 30, 2005 10:39 AM · Permalink

Breakfast was always served promptly at eight. So when I woke at fifteen after, I just assumed I had missed that meal. Again.

“Time always gives us ample opportunities to do what needs to be done,” pontificated the green-headed duck from his lofty perch atop my alarm clock.

Nobody appreciates a pompous duck, especially in the morning. “That’s nonsense,” I grunted from beneath my pillow.

“Is it, Fred? Daylight Savings Time ended last night. You still have time to get breakfast.”

There was no point in going early so I fell back asleep.

Breakfast was always served promptly at eight…

Posted by: Jim Parkinson at October 30, 2005 11:08 AM · Permalink