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October 25, 2005

Volume 7, Issue 25

Describe a weapon more mediocre than we could ever imagine.

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Wasn’t it Tawny Peaks who was sued for assault?
I’m sure it was her. Sued by a patron of the “dance” club. Evidently he was under the impression she assaulted him with her breasts.

Now of course she’s had the implants removed, and is living a perfectly normal life as a wife and mother. Just the other day though, she came across the implants (she'd saved them) and said to herself “I think I’ll sell one of these, make some extra cash. My husband will be so proud.”

An ad on Ebay, and one breast sells for $17,000.

Her husband’s not proud, - he’s afraid. She did keep one you know.

Posted by: kasac at October 25, 2005 12:47 PM · Permalink

“Q, I need a distractive measure to shake off enemy agents, double agents and other tag a longs. They are always giving my position away on a carefully disguised cell phone.”

“I have just the thing. This is no ordinary cell phone. When you push the send button it makes all others within 100 meters distance ring and vibrate for 20 minutes straight no matter what their settings,” reported Q.


Surrounded by double agents disguised in Walmart smocks, Bond pulled out the new weapon and was distracted himself for twenty minutes trying to answer a text message from Moneypenny.

Posted by: Eric at October 25, 2005 1:57 PM · Permalink

Ooops, o boo hoo, I guess I left out the last line when I word counted. J.P. that cut and paste thing isn't arcane it's tuff.

Posted by: kasac at October 25, 2005 3:32 PM · Permalink

In perfect Latin, the old bishop began, “Every two decades, we anoint one man and one woman for the task of guarding the Earth against demonic invasion. You, Brother Paolo, and you, Sister Antonia, have proven yourselves worthy.”

If it were possible, the chosen Holy Warriors would have genuflected deeper.

“Brother Paolo, accept these weapons as your charge. The first is the Blessed Sword of Solomon, known as the Demon Slayer. Also accept this, the wondrous Magic Shield from the House of Saul.”

“And what for me?” asked Sister Antonia.

“For you, Sister,” the bishop replied. “You get these nun-chacku.”

Posted by: Jim Parkinson at October 25, 2005 10:51 PM · Permalink

It's this darn computer technology, kasac. I never had these problems on my IBM Selectric. Or even on my Smith-Corona before that.

Posted by: Jim Parkinson at October 25, 2005 11:01 PM · Permalink

Check before you post!