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October 22, 2005

Volume 7, Issue 22

Today you are a cereologist :

One who specializes in investigating crop circles.

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Comments

“Hey! Whatcha doing up there in my cottonwood tree?”

Night-vision goggles clearly displayed the shotgun-wielding farmer peering up at him. “I’m hoping to record a crop circle formation,” Professor Dees calmly replied.

“Not in my alfalfa, you ain’t. Now get all that electronic shit out of my tree.”

Dees spent several minutes trying to explain about the arcane lines of prehistoric magnetism and other paranormal phenomenon that clearly identified this field as ground zero for crop circle formation.

But the farmer didn’t care. “Get off my land,” he commanded.

Dees trudged dejectedly away only minutes before the fog rolled in.

Posted by: Jim Parkinson at October 22, 2005 11:54 AM · Permalink

Grrr! The plural of phenomenon is phenomena. I knew that.

Posted by: Jim Parkinson at October 22, 2005 12:02 PM · Permalink

Not to be confused, of course, with the Muppet song "Mahna mahna". You can watch that here: http://www.devilducky.com/media/7452/

Posted by: Jim Parkinson at October 22, 2005 12:06 PM · Permalink

“It wouldn’t be prudent,” warned Loris, “to repeat the same pattern. You’ve read my book, haven’t you?” Loris relished the opportunity to quote chapter and verse from his Historically Accepted Landing Patterns and Interrogation Practices on Planet 327i.

“Yes, standard issue from the ministry of invasion,” replied the general.

“Then you’ll recall the ‘Led Zeppelin’ fiasco and the invasive reproductive procedures.” Loris attempted to pierce the general with a knowing stare.

“LOOK, A SEVEN-LEGGED CEREOLOGIST DOESN’T DICTATE MILITARY PROCEDURE! I DON’T CARE IF THE PATTERN LOOKS LIKE ‘MASTERCARD’ OR WHATEVER THE NEBULA THEY CALL IT!”

Loris retracted his knowing stare.

Posted by: Eric at October 22, 2005 3:07 PM · Permalink