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September 4, 2005

Volume 6, Issue 4

September has been quite around here, thus far.

Perhaps we are all working too hard?

Today's theme is:

labor

Have at it.

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Comments

"The world owes me a living," said Grasshopper.

"Dude, it's September. Your lifespan is only twelve months. If you're going to do something with your life, now is the effing time," said Ant.

"A-hyuck!" said Grasshopper.

"Retard," said Ant.

And with that, Ant began to build. By his Queen's command he established colonies in all quadrants of the backyard, in the basement, even in the kitchen itself. And in his autumn years, when ordered to dismantle a dying grasshopper, he found that the extent of his laboring had quashed remorse and charity, and that grasshopper legs taste very, very good.

Posted by: G-Do at September 4, 2005 10:28 AM · Permalink

"You've got to get it out," said George. He was crying. "My wife - it's killing her."

"Is she in labor?" asked Dr Schultz.

"God, I-I don't know."

Dr Schultz entered the room. Regina was laying on the bed, her clothes torn, her eyes rolling in accord with alien intelligence, speaking incomprehensibly: "Cocksucker-draftducker-ivorytower-flowerpower. Repent. Repent-and-die." She vomited.

"Hello, Regina," said Dr Schultz.

"We like it in here. You can't take us out," Regina growled.

"We shall see," said Dr Schultz, pulling on the gloves.

George left the room, ashamed. An hour later Dr Schultz came out, looking haggard. "Twins," he said.

Posted by: G-Do at September 4, 2005 9:53 PM · Permalink

Demeter approached the lake's edge. Heracles was beating elaborate brass castanets with one hand and throwing rocks with the other.

"What's up?" she asked.

"Trying to kill the Stymphalian birds," he grunted.

Demeter did a quick survey. Yes - the trees provided shade for low-lying shrubs, which made berries the birds liked to eat. The introduction of an invasive species, like a weed that strangles tree roots, should drive the birds away.

She told Heracles.

"That's stupid," he said, flinging a particularly large stone.

Demeter bit her lip, and reminded herself that a gardener should always be patient with stubborn bulbs.

Posted by: G-Do at September 4, 2005 10:19 PM · Permalink