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August 4, 2005

Volume 5, Issue 4

Today's theme is "vacation", since SOME of us actually get one this year...

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Load the family into the car.

“Are we there yet?”

“I have to go potty.”

5 minutes later she’s asleep.

We’ve been on the road 45 minutes.

Just 11 more hours to go.

We are on our way to another state park.

My brother is riding shotgun.

I am in the back seat.

Dad is driving.

Mom sits behind Andrew.

Andrew pulls the door handle.

As the door begins to open, Mom and Dad both grab him at the same time.

I am clueless, and bitter about being in the back.

I am the big brother.

Are we there yet?

Posted by: jpb at August 4, 2005 6:29 AM · Permalink

When you were a child, you stayed in the house all summer. Not because you wanted to--there wasn't any TV or Nintendo to keep you inside. You didn't like reading, and you didn't have any hobbies. You just hated the outside, the open.

But then your parents hired a specialist. He took you on little trips, kept you blindfolded until you got to the destination, a little bigger each time.

Today you look down as the sand dries under the pressure of your feet. Look up, and see the ocean stretch all around you, as wide as the whole world.

Posted by: Thomas at August 4, 2005 7:35 AM · Permalink

What seemed like it was going to be a vacation , was turning into something else altogether.
Everything was loaded in the SUV .We were gassed up and pulling out of the driveway.

"Did you feed the cats?"

Go in and check....

"Is the iron off?"

Go in and check.....

"Did you leave the keys with Marli?"

"Yes"

" Did you turn the computer off ? "

"Honey, why don't you check that?"

She gets out and goes indoors. Total silence. I'm starting the car. I'm backing out the driveway. I'm moving up the street.
She's standing in the driveway.

Now that's a vacation.........

Posted by: drackip at August 4, 2005 8:14 AM · Permalink

"Honey, how many vacation days do you have?"

"Almost the limit; fifteen days. Why?"

"Tell your boss you need to take three weeks off, starting today. Then meet me-"

"Wait a minute; I can't just up and leave without at least some idea of what-"

"Damn it, this is important."

"Then tell me what it's all about."

"Damn. I didn't want to tell you this over the phone, but... It's Ellie. She's alive, and in Paris."

"What?"

"The private detective has pictures, from a colleague in France. I said we'd meet him at the airport in-"

"I'm on my way."

Posted by: Jeff R. at August 4, 2005 11:30 AM · Permalink

Thanks to Mindco’s neural wormhole technology, timeshare vacationers no longer shared condos; instead, they shared minds.

Pick a mind, any mind, from any time in the past, and Mindco could insert your consciousness there for a week; you’d feel what that person felt, experience what they experienced.

Of course, as you were just hitching a ride, so to speak, you couldn’t influence the actions of your vacation host; you could only observe. But the feelings were as real as if you’d experienced them for yourself.

What they hadn’t counted on, however, was the host’s ability to hitch a ride back.

Posted by: copygodd at August 4, 2005 12:16 PM · Permalink

A break. Time off. Leaving my body for a bit. It was about time and I was going to enjoy it. Flitting over to the whorehouse on the other side of town, I watched for a bit. After about an hour I drifted over to a blues bar and listened for a while. Several other vacationers were there, floating over the crowd. We nodded recognition to each other and focused on the music. The emotion was so much more intense when there wasn't meat in the way.

The alarm went off and I snapped back. As always, much too short.

Posted by: JAB at August 4, 2005 4:37 PM · Permalink

"Yeah I'm on vacation...so what? Even us immortals need some time off every once and awhile. We worked out the terms centuries ago. Every year we take a couple of weeks off at this time. If we're both gone at the same time, things can run on automatic. We never hang out together though...too much bad blood between us. Jehovah usually hangs out in The Vatican or Jerusalem. Personally I don't see the attraction. I used to split my time between New Orleans and New York, but Guiliani ruined New York for me. I love a good Mardi Gras though!"

Posted by: Gahrie at August 4, 2005 4:55 PM · Permalink

That's it, said the Internet. I am going on vacation.

"Oh no!" said we. "You cannot go! We need our chatrooms and blogs and online dating services and news sites and webcomics! How will we survive without you?"

The Internet put on her traveling hat. You, she said, sticking a toothpick between her handsome teeth, will manage. Then she walked out the door.

She wasn't kidding. For three weeks, 404 errors greeted every browser on Earth. No Yahoo Games! No bbc.co.uk! No eBay! No Scary-Go-Round! Sales dropped. Universities imploded. Pigs soared and plummeted.

We managed, but it was very boring.

Posted by: G-Do at August 4, 2005 6:40 PM · Permalink