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August 25, 2005

Volume 5, Issue 25

The rules o'the day: dialogue only, two characters, involving the idea of "condiments."

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Comments

"please don't clean out the refridgerator, you know I hate when you do that."

"who knows what dangers lurk behind each door"

"alittle dramatic don't ya think?"

"String Cheeze anyone.... One over here, one there...."

"the kids Love string Cheeze"

"lets count the bags of Jalepenos... one...two...ack..... old bag number three..."

"Its still good....."

"they are almost in liquid form..."

"I better use that one next then"

"I don't think so..... oh, love the fruit drawer...."

"you just havent been poor..."

"yea, whatever.... After we throw out half the condiments onto the 2 year old frozen meat in the freezer."

Posted by: Kirbside at August 25, 2005 8:24 AM · Permalink

"You know that your mother and I don't approve of your going out with that kind of...loose girl, but if you must, be sure to use...condiments."

"What, you mean, like, ketchup and mayonaise? Damn, Dad, I never knew you and mom were so kinky"

"Don't blaspheme. You know what I mean."

"Oh, more like olives and pickles? At least I know what you could do with a pickle..."

"No. You know...protection."

"The word's 'Condoms', you fool. Con-doms-"

"Don't blaspheme."

"Huh?"

"Matthew Five Twenty-Two. 'But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell'"

"Oh. Sorry."

Posted by: Jeff R. at August 25, 2005 9:13 AM · Permalink

"It's so silly, I know. I see a stupid bottle of ketchup and start bawling."

"It was a bit odd..."

"You see, when we were first dating, I got a call I had to take. But I went on a bit long, and Harold decided to get my attention back by doing shots of ketchup. I see those restaurant bottles now and all I can think of is Harold."

"It's only been three weeks. No one expects you to be over it."

"I just can't believe he was taken from me so soon. It's just not right! Goddamn flying monkeys."

Posted by: funklord at August 25, 2005 10:16 AM · Permalink

"Please pass the mustard, Henry. Your father seems unable to."

"The phrase is 'to pass muster,' and you wouldn't sound like such a peasant if you had gotten a college education, Victoria."

"If you hadn't knocked me up I might have made something of my life, Howard. And that's quite a thing for you to say, seeing how you just lost your job."

"Just a temporary setback."

"A milestone in a mediocre life. Why did I marry you?"

"Did you need some salt to add flavor to all that self-pity? Henry, pass the salt to your mother, please."

"Jackass."

"Cunt."

Posted by: G-Do at August 25, 2005 3:30 PM · Permalink

"So the word for the day is condiment."

"Is that like a peppermint Tic-Tac you put in the reservoir of a condom?"

"Good one, you salty dog."

"Pass me some sugar, Sugar."

"Ooh, keep talking to me like that and you'll make me cream my jeans."

"Mayonnaise this great club over on Main, all they play is Latin music - wanna go salsa dancing tonight?"

"Cheez Whiz, I wish, but I need to get some rest."

"Well, it's nice to get a chance to ketchup with you."

"Yeah, I really relish our time together."

"Boy, you really mustard that one up."

Posted by: hnumpah at August 25, 2005 8:19 PM · Permalink