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August 24, 2005

Volume 5, Issue 24

The rest of this "boy" can be found here. Take a look at him. A bit creepy, eh? So what's up with him?

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Comments

"Christalmighty, Mabel, what the hell were you thinking?" Al thundered. The veins were standing out on his neck and his face was bright red as his blood pressure shot off the scale.

"Well, you wanted to save money, you cheap bastard," Mabel shot back. "I can make his clothes a damned sight cheaper than I can buy them, and the dummey was the right size to model them on."

Al shook his head. "Yeah, but Jeezus H. Keerist on a crutch, we were just getting Al Junior over his bedwetting. Didja hafta put this demented looking sumbitch in his room?"

Posted by: hnumpah at August 24, 2005 10:31 AM · Permalink

Hi!

Great to see ya! Really, really great!

Today’s going to be a really terrific day, I just know it! I’m so excited, I can barely contain myself!

It’s gonna be great! I can’t wait! I’m practically beside myself with anticipation!

’Cause today’s the day! The day I’ve been waiting for all of my life! Well, most of my life, anyway.

Today! It’s gonna be today!

Good thing I’ve got this steel rod up my ass, or I’d be hopping and skipping and jumping all around the store!

Today’s the day they’re gonna fit me for my very own dick!

Posted by: Elisson at August 24, 2005 11:31 AM · Permalink

There were times when I was sad. Really sad. Things never seemed like they would get better.

And, they didn't.

I don't call it "sad," anymore. I just call it being me. Some people think THIS is sad. Hey, don't get all sad on my account- I know what that was like!

Still, it became kind of clear that my moods could cause some discomfort in people.

I don't like making people uncomfortable, so I bought my happy mannequin. When I need to talk, I stand behind his head and speak. Anything to keep people from being uncomfortable, you know?

Posted by: Adam at August 24, 2005 12:56 PM · Permalink

"Pinocchio, you gotta understand, there's not so much wood left." Geppetto twisted his thumbs, nervous. "Wasn't much to work with."

"Mirror," said Pinocchio.

"Well - "

"Mirror!"

Geppetto handed him the mirror. "Oh, ho ho ho ho," said Pinocchio. Then he began to cackle. Geppetto backed into the bedroom, and Pinocchio staggered out into the warm, black night.

He sighted a copy of the local gazette sitting on a tree stump; Geppetto must have been reading it earlier. He picked it up and read the headline by lamplight.

"Giant whale terrorizes Italian shores. Huh. Huh-huh. Wait'll they get a load of me."

Posted by: G-Do at August 24, 2005 1:26 PM · Permalink

"How much?"

"Excuse me?"

"For the mannequin."

"I don't understand, sir."

"I wanna buy that mannequin. Is that hard to grasp?"

"Sir, this is a clothing store. We sell clothes, not dummies. If Sir wishes I can put Sir in touch with our supplier."

"No, gotta be this one."

"I still don't understand. Why would you want to-"

"It's for my boss, and he's not used to taking 'no' for an answer. Or answering nosy questions. Now, can we do business?"

"I think sir should leave...now."

And that's why the 12th avenue Macy's burned to the ground the next Friday.

Posted by: Jeff R. at August 24, 2005 4:12 PM · Permalink

From: Dirk Doogler
To: Dewey Cheatham
Subject: Re: New Product Development

> Dirk:
>
> As you should recall from the recent staff meeting, we are in need of a
> product which will not only complement our current service offerings, but
> ultimately provides us with some market differentiation. Keep in mind
> that it should cater to our current clients and hopefully be an attractive
> offering for even larger ones.

DC,

I think this prototype will keep sales off their knees and complement
product support nicely. Based on pre-sales feedback, the initial design
considers girth before length. I assume that works for you.

Dirk

Posted by: ac at August 24, 2005 5:50 PM · Permalink