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August 17, 2005

Volume 5, Issue 17

Today, we'd like to see a 100 word fable.

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Once upon a time there were a chicken and a frog. The chicken was the proudest chicken of all, because her feathers were so white and shiny and her eggs so large and perfect. The frog was likewise the greatest of his kind, with beautiful green skin, a long pink tongue, and lucid brown eyes.

"My love, let's elope together," said the frog to the chicken, "because surely two as we could only bring grace and harmony to our home."

"Holy fuck, a talking frog!" said the chicken.

Moral of the story: Anthropomorphic animals are trouble, and probably carry diseases.

Posted by: Thomas at August 17, 2005 6:56 AM · Permalink

It happened that there were two mouse–brothers.

Life was hard for these mice. Vicious cats roamed the neighborhood; other animals constantly made life difficult.

There was the duck, all harsh voice and shrill temper.

There were the dogs. One, though he could speak the language of people, was so dimwitted as to be a danger to himself and others. The other was, after all, a dog, and what dog does not enjoy sport with helpless mice?

It all changed when brother Mickey, after lengthy study, procured a Steamboat Operator’s License.

Moral: Wish upon a star, my ass. Study to succeed!

Posted by: Elisson at August 17, 2005 9:05 AM · Permalink

Once there was a woman who loved kittens. Her cottage was a cheerful place, and you would be sure to find several kittens romping by her hearth.

“I love then so,” She would say.

The kittens got older, the toms would consort scandalously with the females; they all would claw her chair. Then she would sigh and get out the bottle of chloroform.

“Here kitty, kitty,” She would call.

The next day would find a new set of kittens by the fire.

“One can always get kittens cheap,” She would say.

Once there was a company that liked entry-level engineers…

Posted by: ErnieG at August 17, 2005 11:05 AM · Permalink

The Kesseltown rats were enraged. Each night another rat was eaten by a great, terrible cat. They asked the mayor for justice.

"Where's this cat?" asked the mayor. "Can you prove this cat exists?"

The rats proposed to search each houses for the cat. They searched, finding nought. Then they reached a house whose owner wouldn't let them in. "I have no cats", he said, barring the door.

The rats returned to the mayor, who ordered the door opened. It wasn't.

So the rats burned the house. They never found the cat, but there were no more nightly rat killings.

Posted by: Jeff R. at August 17, 2005 2:09 PM · Permalink

Spiders were once blind, but content. They did naught but weave webs, and these webs engendered much pride and good-humor among them.

One day, their queen caught a mayfly. "Mercy, and I'll give you eyes," said the mayfly. The queen, hungry but intrigued, agreed, and that's how spiders got their eyes.

But when they re-examined their webs, they saw imperfections they'd missed while blind. Ashamed of their ignorance, they destroyed their webs and withdrew to dark places to rebuild them again and again, always dissatisfied. That's why today, spider webs are so beautiful, and spiders are such solitary, miserable creatures.

Posted by: G-Do at August 17, 2005 6:49 PM · Permalink