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June 8, 2005

Ted: Holy Crap

"I'm a vestal virgin, this is my destiny," she thought, her head swimming with fear as the ceremony drew closer.

"But will the holy Earth Bird pick me to be his earthly vessel? To fertilize the entire globe? Am I worthy?"

Her doubt was not justified. Her heart was indeed as pure as her loins. Her spirit was clean. Her soul was suffused with years of prayer, meditation, and the blessings of her special diet. She was ripe to be ridden by the god.

The citizens looked in wonder as the cramps hit her, her screams drowned by their prayers.

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