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March 24, 2009

Jeff R.: Technically...

"Meanwhile, back at the ranch...how is grandmother doing?"

"Strictly speaking, the theory of relativity precludes the concept of simultaneity between two distinct frames of reference. So 'meanwhile' is a meaningless term, isn't it?"

I blinked. Then I counted to ten, slowly. Finally, I spoke.

"Alva...tell me you haven't been accelerating your grandmother's ranch to significant fractions of the speed of light again."

"Okay, I haven't."

I relaxed, but only for a second.

"All right. Now tell me you haven't been accelerating the rest of the universe apart from your grandmother's ranch to relativistic speeds."

He just stood there, looking sheepish.

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