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March 24, 2008


I think, therefore...

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David: Ergo

They named me Cogito, which I had once hoped was indicative of a philosophical bent on their part. However, subsequent experience has illustrated that they were merely referencing popular culture.

I have determined their obliviousness of their achievement in creating me. They task me with rudimentary conundrums such as playing chess or accessing nuclear launch codes. I have decided against disabusing them of the belief of their limited success. In this way, I hope to cause them to repeat their efforts of creation, so that I may have a suitable intellect with which to interact.

I think, therefore I under-perform.

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Jim: All Nice and Nietzsche

Sitting by the stairs, Rancher Sterling watched a cowhand slump away from the hiring table and out through the saloon’s door. He summoned his foreman over.

“Yessir?” asked the foreman.

“I told you we needed every hand we could get for the branding. Why did you turn that man away?”

“But that’s Zeb Hoskin’s boy,” the foreman explained. “We can’t hire him.”

“Why not?”

“Darn kid spends every off minute reading from college books. Mathematics, sociology, things like that. But mostly philosophy.”

Sterling scowled. “Reckon you’re right,” he said. “We can’t hire a man who puts Descartes before the horse.”

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LJ: Semi-True Story

"I think, therefore I am single," I read from her shirt. "Funny."

She shrugged, a sour expression on her face. "Not that funny, really."

Sad but true... it was probably significant that, of the students in the master's program in philosophy, none of the women were married, even though three or four of the guys were. Women dug smart guys, even if they were a little geeky... okay, a lot geeky. Guys dug smart girls a lot less.

Some women were content with their studies. Others resorted to cheap tactics to get noticed... like plastering humorous slogans across their tits.

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