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January 21, 2008

Jim: After Closing Time

The bartender, a typically jovial man both large and fat, sat on a cold, metal chair and scowled. Sweat dripped from his clenched jowls as he explained to the pair of lantern-jawed detectives, “That drink was one of my specialties; some rum, some white wine, several flavors of Schnapps, and…”

“Hemlock,” interrupted one detective, reading from a single piece of paper.

“And nightshade,” confirmed the other. “Plus arsenic, bleach, antifreeze, turpentine, and belladonna.”

“You forgot the Drano,” whimpered the bartender.

“So the question remains…” the first detective began.

The other detective nodded and finished, “Why is that asshole still alive?”

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