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February 22, 2007

Jeff R.:Instructions for the Babysitter

The cat should be fed at five. Please stick to dry food; last weekend Alva modified the can-opener and now, while more efficient, it occasionally ejects metal discs at supersonic velocities.

Feel free to use the Coffee-maker, but check the filter. If the grounds are blue or violet, dispose of them in the yellow receptacle.

The remote control for the television is on a chain with an orange tag marked "TV". The other remotes will probably activate one or another of Alva's abandoned projects.

Do not, under any circumstances, press any of the buttons labeled in Cyrilic on the microwave.

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