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February 16, 2007

2.16.07

Today's theme: Syllepsis. (You'll have to scroll down a bit, alas.). Also known as Zeugma. Use (at least) one in today's story.

Good luck!

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Jim: Eating Bullets and Veal Parmesan

In one graceful motion, the dame handed me a photo and the strangest case of my career.

My name’s Saim Dacotti. That’s pronounced ‘Sam’ – the ‘I’ is private. Like me. I dish out justice, bad jokes, and a pretty mean linguini.

The mark was the dame’s husband. His name was Mark. Mark Trigatta. He was the guy who single-handedly killed three bottles of Scotch and the Don’s son. Don.

The picture showed a hulking thug playing a friendly game of cards. The dame said she suspected he was cheating. It was my job to tail him and his new tail.

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Jeff R.:Love and Dust Were in the Air

It was an odd match. Rosalita was a prostitute who generally didn't give two damns about the men who contracted her services and diseases. Jeb was an old soldier who had fought at Shiloh, where he lost the battle and his genitals. Since the war, he'd stayed on as a cavalryman, killing time and Indians.

He went to her, not knowing why. He shyly explained about his war wound. She told him to relax. She drew him a bath and a picture. He was skeptical, but acquiesced. And so, for the next five years, she tickled his fancy and prostate.

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David: But Not Tonight

She came awake and to the realization that she was starving for blood and company. She turned off the light, toward the window, and into a bat. She felt the thrill of the hunt, the wind in her fur, and the vague dread rising from her prey and her gut.

“One of these nights,” she thought, surveying the human buffet and her emotions, “I will meet my fate, my love, my death. He will pierce my long-dead heart with passion and wood.”

In the alley below, in the shadows, in his final night, a mugger menaced a woman and society.

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Stacy: Taking

Adriana didn’t like people who took things. Her father had taken her virginity and her childhood. Her mother had taken her ability to trust and her beloved pet cat. Her therapist had taken her time and her money. George had taken her heart and her brand new Lexus.

She made some appointments, ran some errands, arranged her affairs and her hair. She emptied her mind and her refrigerator. Then she locked up her house and her conscience.

Adriana had two weeks vacation time and a Barrett M-1 sniper rifle. Now Adriana was about to do some taking of her own.

Read more from Stacy's .

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Ted: Assault and Pepper in Shreveport

Our conversation had been as peppered as the chinese steak. My greasy spoon mentality didn't quite mesh with the net of lies around me. So I schooled myself to not be a cold fish and wind up on someone's gaffe. By the end of the night, I had six slugs in me, only four of them rye. I was feeling wry about the other two and I rued the bouillabaise as well as the decision to meet this client at a dive rather than taking one.

The beignet powder mocking my wrong choice, creole spices adding too much zest, BAM!

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