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November 14, 2006

Jim: No Room To Duck

I said, “Ducks can’t talk.” Just like that. Simple yet profound.

Squatting beside the sink, the green-headed duck spat out a capful of mouthwash. “That’s true, Fred” he said.

“A duck’s brain and larynx are too small,” I continued.

The green-headed duck nodded agreeably and said, “The famous psychiatrist Alfred Adler stated, ‘A lie would have no sense unless the truth were felt as dangerous.’”

“Are you implying that I think speechless ducks are dangerous?”

He just looked at me and shrugged.

“I’m out of toilet paper,” I said uneasily.

He waddled out of the bathroom to fetch another roll.

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