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November 28, 2006

11.28.06

Last week, a former Russian spy died from radiation poisoning after naming a senior Kremlin agent as the man responsible for targeting him.

Today's topic is poison.

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Jim: Here's To Your Health!

“Psst! Brother! Can I talk to you for a second?

“I really hope I’m not making a mistake in confiding with you, Brother. But the look in your eyes makes me think you’re having some doubts, too.

“Why, yes, I would love a cold drink! Thanks!

“Anyway, where’s the paradise we were promised? I spend twelve hours a day tending goats and all I eat is rice. How is that better than my old life as a milkman?

“And I swear Guyana is the hottest place I’ve ever been. More like Hell than Eden, eh?

“Hey, is this grape flavored?”

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Stacy: Til Death Do Us Part

“Poison?? You mean like that really bad 80s perfume?”

“No, love, real poison…specifically fugu, the Japanese blowfish. You just ate it.”

“I did? Oh, that nasty raw fish appetizer. I wondered why you suddenly wanted to have sushi, after all these years.”

“Well, darling, it wasn’t until now that you were worth quite so much to me dead. You see, your aunt died yesterday. The lawyers say you’re going to inherit ten million.”

“Wow, Aunt Tinkie died? She was my favorite aunt, too. Oh well. It’s a good thing I had the cook put tetradotoxin in your champagne. Cheers!”

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