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October 26, 2006

10.26.06

Every once in a great while, if the planets are aligned just right and the temperature is neither too hot nor too cold, something amazing happens.

Tell us a story of a once in a lifetime moment.

(difficulty: no wedding days, children being born, or fishing stories)

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Jim: Not Good With Directions

“…and so I barely escaped from those Injuns,” drawled Pete, reeling me into his growing audience. I could never resist the lure of a good story. “But found myself right between a hungry grizzly and her salmon.”

“No way,” declared little Billy.

“Can’t blame you for being skeptical,” Pete grinned. “There ain’t been bears round here since before you were born. Anyway, all I had was the garter Ma wore at the reception. So I snapped it right off my finger and round that bear’s muzzle.

“She was so surprised that I got away. And ran smack into the wolves…”

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Tanya: Some Enchanted Evening

“Goddamn these subdivisions, popping up everywhere,” he snarled. “Like fuckin’ mazes.”

“Settle down, wouldya? I’m trying to read the map.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, you little freak.” He crushed out his cigar, swearing again.

“Don’t call him a freak, you asshole. He’s doing his best.”

“Don’t even get me started on freaks, you. Why, your…”

“Oh, are we going to talk about my nose again? Really?”

“Shut up, both of you. I’m getting a migraine. Ask that kid for directions.”

“I’m not…”

“Fine, I’ll ask. Hey, kid!! Where the smokin’ hell’s Trocadero Avenue?”

The boy looked up. “…Santa?”

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David: The Lizard Brain

The world went into soft focus. Time slowed down. I could see everything, no detail missed. I wasn’t thinking. I heard the click of the hammer fall. I pushed Wendy one way while I dodged the other. The mugger’s gun boomed. I closed. The muzzle flashed. I grabbed the pistol, burning my fingertips on the barrel, and yanked it out of his hand. In the same motion, I cracked his temple with it.

He collapsed. So did I. Wendy screamed.

The adrenaline rush faded.

“What did you do?”

I looked at my hands. They were shaking. “I have no idea.”

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Ted: The Party

"She's pretty."

"Yeah, but too high maint. Look at that hair and those shoes."

"What about her? The redhead?"

"I don't know, she's got all those guys puppying after her."

"Ok, I see the one now. Look over there, by the pool. See the one in the yellow onepiece?"

"Her? Really? Didn't think she was your type, babe."

"Well, hon, women don't have a type when it comes to things like this. We actually look at the person. Besides, we chatted in the bathroom earlier."

"Really? You already set up something?"

"If I tell you now, it'll ruin the surprise."

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Michele: Party of Three

“Plans for tonight?” She stood close to me. Her breath was hot on my face. She held her martini tight in one hand.

What kind of woman brings her drink into the bathroom?

That kind of woman. The kind we were looking for.

We made idle talk while fixing our makeup. She eyed me up and down the whole time.

I sized her up as well. I was new at this. She obviously wasn’t. But I knew how to follow a lead.

“My plans are incomplete.”

She smiled. Licked her lips. Grabbed my hand. “Show me which one is yours.”

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