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September 30, 2005

The Eschatologist: The Chandler's Letter

Dear Mum,

I'm sorry it's been so long since my last letter, and I have bad news. I've always been an unusual child, suffering through incessant taunts and barbs. You made the best life for me you could, but after a fashion I knew I would have to strike out on my own.

I've lost my job, mum. I've failed, and I'm going to be coming home. It is apparent that Yankee Candle is now capable of making their own scents, and my spare-time experiments such as 'Sweaty Man Ass' are no longer welcome in the company.

Your loving son.

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