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September 13, 2005

Volume 6, Issue 13

The news down here is that Astroworld will be closing after the 2005 season is over.

Tell a story set in an amusement park, theme park, or carnival.

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D: Reflections

The mirrors distort us grotesquely, twisting us into warped reflections of ourselves. My eyes see her, squashed and stretched, torn asunder and I wish that the image was reality. As we leave the hall she won't take my hand. She refused my kiss on the Tunnel of Love. The cotton candy didn't sweeten her any. My prowess with the hammer did not impress. The bear I won for her is carried like luggage. She's had a wonderful time but can we just remain friends?

When we get to the highest point on the Ferris wheel I shall push her out.

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Ted: Ruh, rho Rhaggy!

Up and down the coaster tracks they ride, faster and faster. The riders' screams of delight changing pitch into terror. Up the big hill, down 90 degrees, sharp turn that snaps the necks of the four riders in the rear car. The two interconnected loops serve the last rites to the next two cars. Final dive into the lake approaching as the surviving eight riders have no breath left to scream. SPLASH! Dashed into the surface of the lake at speed turns them into goo which sinks into the black waters.

Quentin got rejected as screenwriter for the Scooby sequel.

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Michele: Death of a Cliche

The entrance was a gaping maw of sharp teeth, with pointed fangs painted a gruesome shade of yellow protruding from lava-red gums flecked with black.

A small cart wended its way around two bottom teeth, clicking along the track that would take Julie and Evan along the Tunnel to Hell for just two tokens apiece.

Of course, you are expecting that this story will end with the ride really having been Hell’s entrance and the couple becoming trapped in Satan’s pit, never seen again.

But you would be wrong. See, the ride caught fire and killed them before Satan could.

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Stacy: Unexpected


The girl turned to see an ancient man in a battered top hat sitting next to the Tilt-a-Whirl. She clutched her doll tighter and inched forward.

"Ain't gonna hurt you," he wheezed.

Still she hesitated. The old man chuckled, then moved much quicker than he ought, touched her forehead with a single finger. She blinked and the world rippled. She gasped as a fairy flitted by with a corn dog. A giant strode through the midway, stepping carefully. She turned back to find the old man gone, a wizened gnome in his place.

She screamed until she was 14.

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The Eschatologist: Party All The Time

I've been around, and the party just isn't the same.

Back in the day, spring festivals were all the rage. When the Nile flooded, we gave it up to old Osiris. Then came along Dionysus, and well, I tipped more than a few back, but those Romans...oh the Romans! Bacchanalia!

Then the Christians came along. Man, did they kill that buzz. Sure, the Feast of Fools was a blast; who doesn't like mocking the church? But, they stomped out all that fun. Now we've got Shrove Tuesday. Eh. You'd had to have been there, but it just ain't the same.

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From the Comments: Amphioxus

Today’s events:

· Desk chair derby - handicapped ramp at front entrance.
· Bumper cars (with company issued Coopers) - employee parking lot.
· (New!) Forklift rides - behind Receiving.
· Rat races (featuring live rats!) - Technical Services
· (New!) Boss Toss - the stairwell by Sales.

I chuckled at the last one. “Gives new meaning to the ‘trust as far as you could throw’ adage, don’t it?” quipped Rob, my assistant.

I shook my head. “I wish we could just go back to casual Friday. These Job Fairs are a pain in the butt.” He shrugged, and we headed towards Research and Development to get our fortunes told.

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