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August 15, 2005

Ted: In the Marines, They Taught Us not to Shit on our Hands

This joke isn't true. What they teach you is a field expedient. Like all such, it gets the job done, but nearly as well as the real thing.

First take one sheet of any kind of paper, such as the wetnap from an MRE. Fold it into a square and rip out the center, which you place between your teeth. Then put your middle finger through the hole, wipe, close paper around shitty finger and clean. The little triangle of paper you put between your teeth is used to clean under your fingernail.

This is the real reason for saluting.

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