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August 23, 2005

Michele: Everything's Alright, Everything's Fine

HILTON, LINDSEY LOHAN SURVIVE TERRORIST BOMBING!

“Ohmygod it was a fricking nightmare,” said Hilton, who is recuperating from a sprained knee at home. “We were walking down Rodeo when, holy shit, there was this BOOM. I thought it was fireworks, I was like, that’s hot.”

But it wasn’t fireworks. It was terrorists, hellbent on destroying our nation. Lindsey heroically grabbed Paris and led her to an alley, where they cowered for 40 minutes before emergency personnel found them.

Sadly, Paris’s beloved pooch was incinerated in the twin blasts. Lindsey suffered only minor bruises.

1,482 people were killed in the attack.

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