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July 18, 2005

Ted: The Tiki

Everyone loves teh pinyata. Balls. Here I am, nearly empty, while this moron takes another swing. I'm older than this stupid Latin puppet full of candy. I used to be powered by whale oil for fucksake. WHALE OIL. The stuff for annointing kings! The stuff thousands would sail and hunt and die for. Mighty Queequeg himself filled my reservoir.

Here I am, guttering, because this jackass can't go buy kerosene. Shit. Spends hours straightening and checking those wires, but can't bother with a buck's worth of oil.

Come on kid, one more swing and I explode all over the fence.

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