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July 21, 2005

Volume 3, Issue 21

There once was a man from Nantucket....

There was a young lassie from Cork....

You just can't write a good clean funny limerick. Since they are less than 100 words, it doesn't matter anyway.


Today is politically correct, no swearing, no sex, no politics, no euphemisms Thursday. (Hereafter to be known as 'vanilla day' or 'Ted bang his head day')

However, just to make things interesting, today's theme is...


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Stacy: Anyone But You

I flip through the CDs, looking for something to fill the quiet. Ahh, Donkey...great band, lounge lizards with a fat horn section.

The music starts and I remember that summer. Nights at dive bars, great music...Donkey, Dash Rip Rock, even Bo Diddly in a show advertised by homemade flyers stuck on power poles. Emotionless, empty nights.

The end was coming, we both knew it. He was increasingly impatient with me, for no reason I could fathom, and I was increasingly uneasy, having no idea what he wanted from me.

I know now he just wanted me to be someone else.

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Michele: Memories Are Made of This

Poppa drags the accordion out of the closet. He blows on it and a year’s worth of accumulated dust scatters around him. Speckles rest in his hair and Nanna wipes them away with a loving touch that makes me sigh.

Poppa stands by the tree. Nanna waits for her cue as the accordion starts up and then she sings, her voice sweet, if crackly.

Hey! Chingedy ching,
It's Dominick the donkey...

The kids do the “hee-haw” part.

The clock chimes eleven. I realize I haven’t set out the presents yet. I turn off the videotape and get to work.

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Ted: Donkey Hotee

Once in the past, the universal force (which some choose to believe in due to their cultural upbringing) decided to accelerate evolution (an as yet un-proven theory) for the purpose of creating a beast of burden.

The result was the donkey. It was cruelly used to carry the burdens of whomever claimed ownership. (An outdated concept.)

The donkey was used as slave labor, cross bred to create less horizontally challenged offspring who were themselves slaves, and slaughtered for pet food. (The ownership of pets was outlawed in 2078.)

Today we celebrate the noble donkey, free at last. Thank you Eeyore!

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From the Comments: G-Do

"I am naturally pessimistic about such things," said Eeyore. "Even if we did come up with a limerick, it wouldn't be a very good one."

"We could at least try," said Pooh. "What shall we write about? Bears? Piglets? Donkeys?"

"Donkeys are not very interesting subject material."

"Tiggers are always exciting," said Tigger.

"Please be quiet, Tigger. This is serious." Pooh scratched his belly and burped. "I have it!"

"There once was a tragical donkey
Who belonged to a man named McConkey
Up to no good
He entered the hood.
And everyone called him a honkie."

"Told you," said Eeyore.

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